Why we should defend racist speech

The aftermath of the 2015 General election has produced many fascinating talking points. Firstly, there was the less than gracious way Mrs. Persad-Bissessar reacted to the results, failing to properly congratulate Dr. Rowley on the night. Though I suppose she was still reeling from the shock of defeat. After all, her entire re-election strategy centered on desperately trying to paint Dr. Rowley as an angry, obeah-worshiping rapist.And how could that idea possibly have failed? 

Wayne, I want my money back!

Dear Dr. Kublalsingh,

Last week I bought your recently published book Global Village or Global Empire  at a bookstore in Chaguanas. After having read it, I am writing to ask you to please give me back my money. I know what you must be saying. “Why should someone be entitled to a refund after reading the book?” Well Dr. Kublalsingh, I believe I was duped into buying your book.

 I know you’re not supposed to judge a book by its cover, but I foolishly assumed that a book alluding to  be about global economics and politics; would be about global economics and politics. Imagine my disappointment when I realized that it was nothing more than the ramblings of a clearly deluded halfwit.  

How to cope with election defeat

It’s the morning of September 8, 2015 and the political party you support has been defeated at the polls. Sure if you supported one of the lesser known parties, like the Movement for Social Justice, New National Vision, or whatever the name of that pro-marijuana hippy party is called, you probably saw it coming. However if you supported either one of the main political parties, you know the ones normal people vote for, you are probably a depressed, inconsolable mess on the verge of going on a wild, bitter rant on Facebook.

The Customer is always Scre**d!

As the end of August approaches, many Trinbagonains have to face making an important decision that could profoundly affect their lives-whether or not to cut their Cable TV subscription. The reason for this is that the local Telecommunications Authority has ordered local cable companies to cut up to 16 channels from their line up.

It turns out local cable companies have been charging customers for channels that they didn’t have the right to broadcast. Of course, selling something that doesn’t belong to you sounds like theft and fraud to anyone who possesses a soul, which explains why local cable company owners don’t appear to see it that way, and have refused to offer customers a discount.

At 89, Castro’s lies are still alive

Last week brutal autocrat, human rights abuser and beloved revolutionary hero to morons everywhere, Fidel Castro, celebrated his eighty ninth birthday. Fidel of course celebrated in the way he loves best, by jailing some ninety pro-democracy protestors; mostly from the dissident group ‘The Ladies in White’, earlier in the week. That’s one dissident for each birth year with a bonus one thrown in, presumably for a lucky extra beating.  

Joining the Castro birthday party was Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro, who took time away from the ongoing economic catastrophe unfolding in his home country, to pay tribute to the man whose socialist ideology inspired it. Presumably it was also an excellent opportunity for Maduro to get his hands on some toilet paper. 

The old time days were horrible

For the past two weeks I have been blissfully unaware of election news. That’s because during this time I have been virtually bedridden recovering from a small bout of pneumonia. I say blissfully, because I’d choose nausea, fever and constant coughing over having to stomach anymore election news any day. This election free news nirvana doesn’t look like it will last though. 

Thanks to modern antibiotics, I am well on my way to recovery. If I were born one hundred years earlier, in the good ole days, I might not have been so lucky. In the early Twentieth Century, pneumonia was the leading cause of death in countries around the world, and even minor infections like mine could have meant a death sentence.

T&T needs to be more godless

Forget good customer service, prison officers who know how to lock a prison cell, or more people telling spoken word poets that spoken word poetry sucks. What Trinidad and Tobago really needs are more atheists. What is an atheist, you ask? Well, atheists are people who believe in a natural universe governed by scientific laws, free from supernatural forces. Simply put, atheists are people who don't believe there is an all-powerful, invisible man who can help pick their Lotto numbers.

Now I know what you are going to say. “Some people say atheism is simply a belief, just like religious belief.” No, it isn't. That's something stupid people say because to them it sounds clever. Atheism is simply the lack of believing in the supernatural because there is no scientific evidence to support it. That's all. It doesn't involve eating babies or worshipping Satan. Well, not unless you're into that.