Why Trump is a Trini

Donald Trump may look like your average 69-year-old white American man, who happens to be wearing a dead cat on his head. But judging by his actions over the past few months, its clear that Trump is in fact a Trinbagonian. Consider for example Trump’s political image crafted on a bloated narcissism, or his love of conspiracy theories, or the way he ignores facts in favour of what random strangers tell him on Twitter. Yes, the only thing left for Trump to do now is eat doubles, lime at Maracas and make a Facebook video beating his children.

Kamla, Bombs and Toilet Paper

This past week was dominated with election news, as voters exercised their democratic rights. Let’s look at the big electoral winners of the week.

Freedom for Dad’s Dan

There is no better indication that an economy is in peril than a popular brothel no longer being able to bribe the police to look the other way. On Monday, the Ministry of National Security with much fanfare publicly announced that they had busted the notorious Chaguanas brothel ‘Dad’s Dan’, charging the owner with human trafficking offenses and keeping a brothel. And sure enough by Wednesday we learnt that the TT dollar had depreciated against the US dollar. 

The Boodan Economic Model

Trinidad and Tobago currently has to ask itself some tough questions. And it’s not just whether the Lotto is rigged. You see, thanks to an oversupply of oil on the world market, prices have plunged and the energy sector, the backbone of our economy, is faltering. A recession is defined as three consecutive quarters of economic decline. We have already had two so far. And as sure as the lotto is rigged you can bet we will have a third.  

Now I am no economist or expert on fiscal policy or capable of doing basic arithmetic but those things don’t stop socialists or politicians. So I want to propose my own economic strategy that I am sure will help us avert a national financial crisis. Here are the basic tenets of the Boodan economic model.  

The Stench of Appeasement

Last Saturday morning, the citizens of Paris awoke, amidst the smells of croissants and coffee, to the stench of death wafting through the air. The night before seven deluded young men, armed with the insane reasoning commonly held by murderous psychopaths and no doubt harboring visions of virgins eagerly awaiting their arrival in paradise, attacked six sites across the city, killing themselves and 129 people, and injuring hundreds more.

An Open letter to ISIS

 Dear  ISIS leader, Abu Bakr al-Baghadl,

I am writing concerning your organization’s recent recruitment video featuring four Trinidadian men, urging other Trinbagonians to join them in the Islamic State. Sir, first let me say that your video was excellent, being well scripted, well shot and perfectly utilizes that proven method of selling a message via testimonials.  It is easily better than anything the T&T Ministry of Tourism has ever done.

A Night at the Diwali Nagar

Last Monday I decided to visit the Diwali Nagar for the first time in over ten years. I thought it might be interesting to write about the Nagar’s enduring popularity; analyzing its significance among our rich and diverse cultural landscape. Plus I was really in the mood for pepper roti.