The Ministry of Public Utilities has once again been thrown
into chaos, as the appointment of Robert Le Hunte has been revoked after just
two days. Trinbagonian born Le Hunte, who holds a Ghanaian passport didn’t know
that only citizens of Trinidad and Tobago, can serve in Parliament. In his defence,
he said he was sick at home the day they taught that in Standard Five Social Studies
class. The Prime Minister has said he will reappoint Mr. Le Hunte once he
figures out which country he belongs too. Until then Dr. Rowley has started
interviewing back up candidates, of which the Express has received exclusive
transcripts off. Here they are:
Interview 1. The Community Leader.
Dr. Rowley: So, from your CV you
seem like an enterprising young man. Tell me about yourself.
Krisis: Well my
name is Krisis. My motto is peace and love and unity. That’s all I have to say.
I don’t really like telling people my business. I hope you not recording this.
Because my other motto is “snitches get stitches”.
Dr. Rowley: Why do you want to be
the Minister of Public Utilities, Krisis?
Krisis: I think I’ll
be really good at it. I know how to manage people. I know about Government contracts. And I
smart enough to know not to invite my friends when I getting sworn in.
Dr. Rowley: Do you mind working in
teams?
Krisis: As long as
the teams are not from South Enterprise. Because that will be a problem.
Dr. Rowley: We’ll
be in touch Krisis.
Interview 2. The Entrepreneur
Dr. Rowley: So it says here, your
name is ‘Chocolate Man’, and you are from Princes Town?
Chocolate Man: Yes, Sir, that’s me. I’m
applying for this job because I think it’s time to change careers; to go from just
stealing chocolates from groceries to stealing a ferry-full of chocolate via a
government ministry.
Dr. Rowley: This job calls for
thinking outside the box. Solve this problem for me. Say you need to get your
hands on a lot of chocolate. Do you, A, make a dummy company and then, using
your position award that company millions worth of Government contracts in
chocolates? Or, B, walk into a grocery and shove a lot of chocolate bars down
your pants?
Chocolate Man: B,
walk into a grocery and shove a lot of chocolate bars down my pants.
Dr. Rowley: Sorry Chocolate Man, I
don’t think you’re Minister material.
Interview 3. The Politician
Dr. Rowley: So Mr. Duke, it says
here you are the Minority Leader in the Tobago House of Assembly. What do you
think has been your greatest accomplishment?
Watson Duke: Well, I just swam all the
way from Tobago to Toco in like 2 hours.
Dr. Rowley: You swam 25 miles in
two hours? Somehow I doubt that is possible. What proof do you have?
Watson Duke: I have ironclad proof! I have 50 thousand ‘likes’ on Facebook dude!
Dr. Rowley: What exactly do you
think you proved by doing this?
Watson Duke: Well, I showed the whole of
Trinidad how serious we in Tobago take the breakdown of the sea bridge. I
showed that we will not be ignored and that from now on everyone will pay
attention to the problems of Tobago.
Dr. Rowley: Sorry, what? I wasn’t
listening. I was filling out my holiday request form. Listen Mr. Duke, I don’t
like cheap publicity stunts. Except for cheap publicity stunts that support the
government. I’m going to have to turn you down.
Watson Duke: In
the name of Poseidon-you’ll regret this!
Interview 4. The
Secretary
Dr. Rowley: So, you’re Elena
Araujo the Secretary of the Law Association.
Why do you want to be Minister of Public Utilities?
Elena Araujo: Look you need to shut up.
Every body needs to shut up and stop asking questions.
Dr. Rowley: Sorry, there must be
some confusion, this interview is for Minister of Public Utilities not Minister
of Communication.
Elena Araujo: I said zip it ok! We all
need to be responsible and stop asking questions when political opponents are
arrested. It’s none of our business. It doesn’t concern us. Just shut up! Stop
bad talking the government and the police!
Dr. Rowley: You’re hired. When can
you start?
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