Friday, November 17, 2017

An interview with Ambassador Antoine

This week controversy brewed as employees in the Ministry of Foreign Affairs expressed outrage at the appointment of young and little known Makeda Antoine as T&T’s new ambassador to the United Nations. I wanted to interview Ms. Antoine to find out more about her. But I also wanted to see Thor; Ragnarok. So I skipped the interview and just did that. But here is a completely made up interview instead:

Darryn:                               Ambassador Antoine, congratulations on your appointment to the UN. You’re one of the youngest choices ever for this position. How does that feel?
Ambassador Antoine:     Thank you Darryn. As a young person I really want to be an inspiration for the youths of T&T. My appointment proves if you study hard, work hard, and suck up to the right people in politics, you can go far.
Darryn:                                Ambassador how would you respond to those who say your age,  links to the PNM and complete lack of foreign affairs experience makes you the ‘PNM’s  Reshmi’?
Ambassador Antoine:     That’s ridiculous. I am completely qualified for this post. I have three degrees. Four if you count my  PNM party card!
Darryn:                                But do you have experience in diplomacy?  
Ambassador Antoine:        For sure. One time my friend Tiffany was fighting with my other friend Stacy because Stacy wanted to play in a frontline section that year even though we all agreed before we weren’t going too. But that’s how Stacy is nah, you can’t take her on. So I tell Tiffany, I say Tiffany that’s how Stacy is nah, you can’t take  her on.  But Tiffany is another one, she gets vex for everything, and I tell Stacy, I say Stacy you know how Tiffany is, she gets vex for everything.  Anyway I don’t talk to either of them anymore because my friend Nalini   say both of them is be saying things behind my back. I was going and cuss them but I say, “Makeda girl show some diplomacy”
Darryn:                                Ambassador what are some of the key issues you hope to work on at the UN?
Ambassador Antoine:      Well Darryn. Dr. Rowley has given me three areas of priority to focus on. Climate change, child poverty and countries that invite Prime Ministers to high level meetings and then take it back last minute. That’s just rude.
Darryn:                               Ambassador how do you feel that T&T was one of just two countries missing from the recent climate change conference in Germany?  
Ambassador Antoine:       Darryn we tried to find a suitably qualified representative to send to Germany, unfortunately no one in the Heliconia Foundation speaks German.
Darryn:                               Ambassador as you know China has been  trying to influence votes in the UN regarding Tibet and Taiwan. What is T&T’s official policy regarding these two countries?
Ambassador Antoine:       Well T&T’s official policy is that Tibet and Taiwan both have names that start with a T, which we can relate too.
Darryn:                               Yes but do we recognize their right to sovereignty?   
Ambassador Antoine:     Oh my god, that reminds me, you saw Thor; Ragnarok yet?
Darryn:                              Yes. It was good.
Ambassador Antoine:      It’s real good! I went last night to see it with Tiffany and Stacy. Stacy just break up with her boyfriend nah. So we went for Mojitos afterwards. I was like, oh my god Loki is so hot, but Tiffany was like, no Thor hotter and Stacy was like, there looking sad as usual. I mean that’s why Josh break up with her. But I didn’t want to say nothing.
Darryn:                               Ambassador, Dr. Rowley has been vocal in his support of President Maduro. But what is our position if the US and other countries impose more sanctions on him?
Ambassador Antoine:      Darryn, our policy is very strategic. We do whatever President Maduro tells us to do. He says we can trust him. He’s not a back stabber. Like Stacy. I mean don’t get me wrong, she’s my best friend. But she’s a back stabber.
Darryn:                                Ambassador there is speculation that Russian state run oil company Gazprom might soon be doing business with us. What is our policy regarding Russia.
Ambassador Antoine:      Our policy is to do business with them. But not to let the white walkers pass the wall.
Darryn:                               I think, you’re confusing Russia with the TV show Game of Thrones.
Ambassador Antoine:     Oh yeah I always do that!
Darryn:                              You know what forget this. Do you think I can get a big job working with you?
 Ambassador Antoine:    Sorry Darryn I already hired my friend Stacy.

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