Friday, December 29, 2017

Darryn’s Christmas Classics


Boodan records proudlypresents, Darryn’s Christmas Classics -a collection of your favorite Christmas songs. Each guaranteed to filleveryone’s Christmas with magic and cheer.Except for the scrooges in the Express legal department. Who sent me a letter saying they are ‘fed up’ with me. Anyway this Christmas sit back with your pastelles and a glass of sorrel and listen to timeless hits such as;


‘I met a Socialist Dictator from Margarita’ by Sir Golf-a- Lot
I met a socialist dictator from Margarita and he wanted to borrow some toilet paper. I said toilet paper would be fine. But now is Christmas time, and my economy is real dred so how about we set up a shady revolving fund deal and let me refine your natural gas instead.
I give him bread and ham together with a pastelle
Didn’t ask how many opposition leaders -he throw in a Caracas jail cell
My shameless defense of his human rights abuses, went to his head,
He turned to me and said ‘oh yes, Trini bobol is the best, is the best, is the best Trini Bobol is the best

As well as this classic:

‘Baby its cold outside -when you’re fired’by Robby B and the Gropers

Girl at work- I really can’t stay

 Robby B -      But baby its cold outside-when you’re fired

Girl at work-    I’ve got to attend to urgent business

Robby B -       But you haven’t meet my friend yet. His name is Mr. Penis.

Girl at work –Say this tastes like Angostura Rum. You said it was sweet dink?

Robby B -       Baby if you want me to take my pants off, just blink. 

Girl at work –l’ll have to say, see you later

Robby B-        Post about this on Facebook and you’ll get a pre -protocol letter

And gather the kids around for a family sing- a-long too:

“The IMF report I got for Christmas is too big” by the Grumpy Elf
The IMF report I got for Christmas is too big.
(Is too big)
It looks nice. But these words are just too big.
(Is too big)
Oh why couldn’t it have more pictures, instead of all these facts and figures?
It really makes me weary trying to grasp economic theory
Because the IMF report I got for Christmas is too big

But ring the bells and beat the drum
Ring the bells and beat the drum
Ill pretend to understand it all to be polite
But if the T&T Chamber of Commerce points out any facts in it I don’t like,
I’m going to start a fight!

And who could forget everyone’s childhood favorite:
“Santa Claus is coming to Town –to take out a hit” by The Archies
 You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not talk
I’m telling you why
Santa Claus is coming to town-to take out a hit
Oh yeah
He knows when you are sleeping
He knows where you go clubbing
He knows when you talk to reporters
He knows he promised you an HDC house
But keep your mouth shut for goodness sake
Santa Claus is coming to town-to take out a hit

Of course it’s not Christmas until you hear this classic Soca parang:
“Leroy-where the oil gone”- by the Petro-scrunters
 I hearing a quarreling
 Big Christmas morning
Petrotrin internal auditors bawling
Something about Catshills drilling
I went across to see what’s really going
They say we went to check we 90 thousand oil barrels
And the damn things gone
So ah ask him

Leroy-where the oil gone?
(They gone parang)
But you clear the invoice
And approve payments
Wait you did check to see if the barrels really existent?
Leroy-where the oil gone?
(They gone parang)

Let the magic of the holiday spirit sink in with:
The Trini police Christmas song by the TTPS choir
State witnesses roasting on an open fire
Remand yard escapees nipping at your nose
And folks dressed up in body bags
Everybody knows,
A TEC 9 and a ski mask
Help to make the season bright
Tiny tots and cargo workers at the airport
Will find it hard to sleep at night-
They know that Santa is on his way
Hopefully loaded with a forensic pathologist and a crime plan on his sleigh
And every gang leader is gonna spy
To see if their CEPEP contract will start to fly
And so I’m offering this simple phrase
To kids from one to ninety-two
Although it’s been said many times, many ways
Merry Homy-cides to you

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