Saturday, March 10, 2018

A conversation with Minister McDonald

Last week Dr. Rowley shocked the nation when he reappointed Marlene McDonald to the Cabinet, making her new Minister of Public Administration and Minister in the Ministry of Communication. In keeping with his Governments firm commitment of ignoring inconvenient questions in the hope that they will go away, neither Dr. Rowley nor his new Communications Minister spoke to the media. So I decided to make up a completely fake interview with Minister McDonald instead. Here it is:

Darryn:                                Minister, congratulations on your appointments. Given that your previous ministerial post only lasted a weekend, how does it feel to be back in the Cabinet?

Minister McDonald:          I’m loving it Darryn. I take everything in life as an opportunity to learn. Over the last months I’ve learnt perseverance, determination and how not to invite notorious “community leaders” to your swearing in ceremony.

Darryn:                                Minister, there has been a lot of concern expressed on social media. How do you respond to that?

Minister McDonald:          Darryn, I hear those concerns and I want to  say that I see nothing wrong with Fay-Ann’s foot. I mean, it looks a little dry but some Jergens could easily fix that.

Darryn:                               I meant the concerns people have about the ongoing police investigation regarding funds you approved to the Calabar Foundation, while your common in law husband was a director. Also, whether or not you also unfairly assisted your common in law husband to acquire an HDC house.

Minister McDonald:         Darryn, you know it's wrong for a Government Minister to comment about ongoing police investigations. Unless of course it involves the Opposition

Darryn:                               And your supposed friendship with certain “community leaders” in Sea Lots?

Minister McDonald:         As a Member of Parliament for Port of Spain South it's my job to be friends with all people in my constituency; whether it's doctors, shopkeepers or CEOs who run multimillion dollar companies, wearing vests and gold chains, while also playing cards all day.

Darryn:                               How do you respond to some critics who say Dr. Rowley only reinstated you because he desperately needs your support in the upcoming PNM internal elections?

Minister McDonald:          That’s not true at all Darryn. Dr. Rowley wanted someone with my mix of abilities; experience, political acumen and strong stomach to tell party members what a great Prime Minister he is without throwing up.

Darryn:                               Minister, as you know they have been some protests outside Parliament about the possible removal of the Buggery Law. Does the Government have an official position on this?

Minister McDonald:          Darryn, the Government’s position is we await the courts decision. Personally, I think what two consenting adults do behind closed doors is their business alone. Whether it's kissing or one promising the other an HDC house or state funds for his unregistered charity foundation. It's all love.

Darryn:                              Minister, why is Minister Imbert using Twitter to dispense information about the new ferry, the Galleons Passage, as opposed to leaving that to NIDCO which procured it?

Minister McDonald:           Darryn, I don’t know anything about Twitter but I do know my Parliamentary colleagues are impressed by Minister Imbert’s tweets; they always go, “What did that twit say now?" when I mention him.

Darryn:                               Minister, as you know Chief Justice Ivor Archie has taken a six-month sabbatical. Do you think that was appropriate given the firestorm of controversy he’s facing at home?

Minister McDonald:           Darryn, as Dr. Rowley indicated yesterday he was unware of this until the President wrote to him asking for a replacement. And when he saw the Chief Justice’s Facebook status that said, “See yuh see yuh, wouldn’t want to be yuh”. I can’t say if it appropriate or not, but six months is a long time for a sabbatical. That’s long enough for a court in T&T to call one, maybe even two cases to trial.

Darryn:                               Finally, Minister can you say when Minister Maxie Cuffie will be returning to work?

Minister McDonald:           Why don’t you ask him for yourself Darryn? He’s on the phone now.

(Proceeds to hand me her cell phone)

Darryn:                               Hello is this Minister Cuffie ?

Stuart Young:                     Hi Darryn it's me Maxie Cuffie. I'll be back at work any day now.

Darryn:                              Oh that’s great to hear Minister Cuffie. To be honest I was worried that Stuart Young would take over as Communications Minister. He’s not as good a speaker as you.

Stuart Young:                   Why don’t you shut your stupid face Darryn! I mean, thanks Darryn. See you soon.

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