Dear ISIS leader, Abu Bakr al-Baghadl,
I am writing concerning your organization’s recent recruitment video featuring four Trinidadian men, urging other Trinbagonians to join them in the Islamic State. Sir, first let me say that your video was excellent, being well scripted, well shot and perfectly utilizes that proven method of selling a message via testimonials. It is easily better than anything the T&T Ministry of Tourism has ever done.
However Sir, I feel your recruitment videos can be even
better, and as a copywriter with ten years of experience in advertising; I
believe I can offer you the creative ideas you need to effectively reach the
Trinbagonian audience. Why would I want
to write ads for a murderous and psychopathic regime like ISIS you ask? Well I
used to write ads for a certain insurance company in T&T, and compared to
them ISIS would be a step up ethically.
Firstly, your videos need a punchier opening. Something that
really grabs the attention of a potential ISIS recruit. Like for example, “Hey
are you a loser who’s sexually frustrated and harbors delusions of grandeur?
Then have we got an exciting opportunity for you!”
You see, research by the likes of John Horgan of the
Universityof Massachusetts Lowell’s Center for Terrorism and Security Studies;
claim that there is no clear motivation why people join ISIS. Sure you can use Islam
to radicalise people, but as Horgan states, “Radicalism is not terrorism”.
Interviewing former IS recruits Horgan found that those willing to take the
step in moving to Islamic State are people looking for “grand adventure” and
who “don’t have much going on in their lives”.
Also there is speculation that the Jihadist promise of sexual paradise may
be a factor as well. This means the best place to target potential ISIS
recruits might be on the Avenue on a Friday night.
Making recruitment videos to share on social media is a good
idea, but what Trinbagonians really love is a jingle. Making a jingle in
T&T is really easy; you just take a popular soca song and alter the lyrics
to suit.
For example, we can get Machel Montano to do a version of his
popular song ‘Like a Boss’. It could go something like: “Every day is killing,
I come out to kill, ah killing more than you, I come out to rape, I raping more
than you, I come to jam and terrorize and ah sure to do it more than you, cause
when it comes to Jihad of course - ISIS is the Boss.”
I know that listening to music goes against the principles of
Sharia Law, but remember it’s Machel; people love anything he sings, and if he
tells people to join ISIS, trust me, they will.
ISIS also needs a brand slogan. Something that crystallises
what the brand is about and expresses it in a modern way. ‘Death to America’,
and ‘Kill the Infidel’, have become too clichéd. Those are your insane Jihadist
father’s slogans. We need something relatable to today’s youth, with a more
aspirational tone. I suggest a slogan along the likes of ‘Jihad-Just do it or
else’. It really captures the spirt of the brand. It’s bold, it’s rebellious,
it’s youthful and it would look really cool on the back of a black hooded mask.
Of course you also need a logo. What would be really cool is
the image of a person on their knees. This can work both ways. It symbolises
the blind fanaticism ISIS members have to their religion as well as the way
innocent victims beg for their lives.
But a really popular creative concept in advertising these
days in which ISIS should exploit is nostalgia. You see people love watching
ads that remind them of the ‘good ole days’, triggering an emotional longing
for them. Here’s the thing, todays
Trinbagonian youth are not the first generation to be seduced by a radical,
murderous ideology. T&T has a proud history of men and women who went
abroad to join insane fanatical causes. I propose a campaign for ISIS called
‘Here’s to the Crazy Ones’.
We can do a TV ad using black and white photos and a
voiceover that says: “Here’s to the crazy ones, the fanatics, the ones like
Claudia Jones who championed Stalinism, like Stokely Carmicheal who supported
the African dictator Ahmed Sekou Toure, or like Wayne Kublalsingh who supports
the authoritarian regimes in Cuba and Venezuela -because in T&T- deluded fanatics
can eventually become national icons.”
If this fails I
suggest a plan B. According to Reuters ISIS is currently making a million US dollars
each day from oil sales. Forget Jihad
that alone is bound to attract Trinis. Call me.
Sincerely
Darryn Boodan.
1 comment:
Hmmmmm flying for ISIS. I wonder how much they'd pay me for Offshore and Onshore helicopter support.....
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