Friday, November 17, 2017

An interview with Ambassador Antoine

This week controversy brewed as employees in the Ministry of Foreign Affairs expressed outrage at the appointment of young and little known Makeda Antoine as T&T’s new ambassador to the United Nations. I wanted to interview Ms. Antoine to find out more about her. But I also wanted to see Thor; Ragnarok. So I skipped the interview and just did that. But here is a completely made up interview instead:

Friday, November 10, 2017

100 years of "That’s not real socialism"

This week saw  the anniversary of one of the greatest  events in world history;  20 years since  world wrestling champion Bret Hart successfully defended his title against Shawn Michaels at WWF’s Survivor Series.  Incidentally, this week also marked the 100th anniversary of the October Revolution in Russia. A hundred years ago, Vladimir IIyich Lenin and his band of Bolsheviks overthrew the Russian Republic, creating  a  glorious socialist workers paradise that would  be the tyrannical hell hole known as the  USSR. Which means it’s also 100 years since hippies, UWI intellectuals and trade union leaders started using the world's most popular excuse  for the failure of socialism; "That's not real socialism".

Friday, November 3, 2017

Pretty Vacant

Trinbagonians are a simple people. We can live for months without frivolous things like a Commissioner of Police, forensic pathologists or disaster preparedness plans. But we are also a proud people. That’s why it’s a national disgrace that we have gone a full day without knowing who our Miss Universe Pageant contestant is.  28 year old Yvonne Clark was initially awarded the honor but has suddenly been stripped of her title, with local franchise holder Jenny Douglas accusing her of violating her contract. A replacement has yet to be named. It’s not clear what aspect of her contract Ms. Clark supposedly violated, but as the old saying goes; beauty pageant contract violations lie in the eyes of the franchise holder.  

Sunday, October 29, 2017

How to prepare for an incompetent public official

We in Trinidad and Tobago must all acknowledge the fact that a natural disaster can strike at any time. And that when it does, an incompetent public official whose job it is to help us, will either say or do something incredibly stupid. All the while providing little to no help.  Here are some useful tips to get you prepared for the next time disaster strikes, and the ensuing desire to brutally murder an incompetent employee of a state agency begins to feel overwhelming.  

Saturday, October 21, 2017

#Dont Blame Me Too

Every Trinbagonian man  versed in the art of romance knows that to win the love and affection of a beautiful and enchanting woman, you need to look her right in the eye and say, “Aye gyal, you is a table or what? Because I want to ress something on yuh real bad." This is preceded with smiling lecherously while she contemplates how brilliant you are. Of course women these days are different. They don’t cook, or clean or appreciate the effort men make to point out in public what disgusting things we want to do to them.

Friday, October 13, 2017

Fast Food Fallacies

They say only two things in life are guaranteed; death and taxes. But if you live in Trinidad and Tobago, it's three things; death, taxes and the stupidity of bright, well-intentioned people. Take for example the recent call by First Lady Rema Carmona for higher taxes to be imposed on “unhealthy food imports”.  Her rationale for this is simple; higher taxes will deter people from purchasing junk food and push them towards healthier options. Thus, “saving people from themselves” as she put it. This is a great example of how public policy is crafted in T&T. Not by using evidence and reason. But by snobbishly assuming you know what’s best for other people.  

Saturday, October 7, 2017

A Fake Interview With Colm Imbert

This week was Budget Week. And with expressions like ‘fake oil’ and ‘fake economy’ and ‘fake sex tape’ being tossed around, I felt what better way to analyze the budget than having a fake conversation with Finance Minister Colm Imbert. Here it is: