Darryn’s Christmas Classics

Boodan records proudlypresents, Darryn’s Christmas Classics -a collection of your favorite Christmas songs. Each guaranteed to filleveryone’s Christmas with magic and cheer.Except for the scrooges in the Express legal department. Who sent me a letter saying they are ‘fed up’ with me. Anyway this Christmas sit back with your pastelles and a glass of sorrel and listen to timeless hits such as;

‘I met a Socialist Dictator from Margarita’ by Sir Golf-a- Lot

I met a socialist dictator from Margarita and he wanted to borrow some toilet paper. I said toilet paper would be fine. But now is Christmas time, and my economy is real dred so how about we set up a shady revolving fund deal and let me refine your natural gas instead.

I give him bread and ham together with a pastelle

Didn’t ask how many opposition leaders -he throw in a Caracas jail cell

My shameless defense of his human rights abuses, went to his head,

He turned to me and said ‘oh yes, Trini bobol is the best, is the best, is the best Trini Bobol is the best

As well as this classic:

‘Baby its cold outside -when you’re fired’by Robby B and the Gropers

Girl at work- I really can’t stay

 Robby B -      But baby its cold outside-when you’re fired

Girl at work-    I’ve got to attend to urgent business

Robby B -       But you haven’t meet my friend yet. His name is Mr. Penis.

Girl at work –Say this tastes like Angostura Rum. You said it was sweet dink?

Robby B -       Baby if you want me to take my pants off, just blink. 

Girl at work –l’ll have to say, see you later

Robby B-        Post about this on Facebook and you’ll get a pre -protocol letter

And gather the kids around for a family sing- a-long too:

“The IMF report I got for Christmas is too big” by the Grumpy Elf

The IMF report I got for Christmas is too big.

(Is too big)

It looks nice. But these words are just too big.

(Is too big)

Oh why couldn’t it have more pictures, instead of all these facts and figures?

It really makes me weary trying to grasp economic theory

Because the IMF report I got for Christmas is too big

But ring the bells and beat the drum

Ring the bells and beat the drum

Ill pretend to understand it all to be polite

But if the T&T Chamber of Commerce points out any facts in it I don’t like,

I’m going to start a fight!

And who could forget everyone’s childhood favorite:

“Santa Claus is coming to Town –to take out a hit” by The Archies

 You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not talk

I’m telling you why

Santa Claus is coming to town-to take out a hit

Oh yeah

He knows when you are sleeping

He knows where you go clubbing

He knows when you talk to reporters

He knows he promised you an HDC house

But keep your mouth shut for goodness sake

Santa Claus is coming to town-to take out a hit

Of course it’s not Christmas until you hear this classic Soca parang:

“Leroy-where the oil gone”- by the Petro-scrunters

 I hearing a quarreling

 Big Christmas morning

Petrotrin internal auditors bawling

Something about Catshills drilling

I went across to see what’s really going

They say we went to check we 90 thousand oil barrels

And the damn things gone

So ah ask him

Leroy-where the oil gone?

(They gone parang)

But you clear the invoice

And approve payments

Wait you did check to see if the barrels really existent?

Leroy-where the oil gone?

(They gone parang)

Let the magic of the holiday spirit sink in with:

The Trini police Christmas song by the TTPS choir

State witnesses roasting on an open fire

Remand yard escapees nipping at your nose

And folks dressed up in body bags

Everybody knows,

A TEC 9 and a ski mask

Help to make the season bright

Tiny tots and cargo workers at the airport

Will find it hard to sleep at night-

They know that Santa is on his way

Hopefully loaded with a forensic pathologist and a crime plan on his sleigh

And every gang leader is gonna spy

To see if their CEPEP contract will start to fly

And so I’m offering this simple phrase

To kids from one to ninety-two

Although it’s been said many times, many ways

Merry Homy-cides to you

Call now. Operators are standing by!