Last week Dr. Rowley shocked the nation when he reappointed
Marlene McDonald to the Cabinet, making her new Minister of Public
Administration and Minister in the Ministry of Communication. In keeping with
his Governments firm commitment of ignoring inconvenient questions in the hope
that they will go away, neither Dr. Rowley nor his new Communications Minister
spoke to the media. So I decided to make up a completely fake interview with
Minister McDonald instead. Here it is:
Darryn: Minister,
congratulations on your appointments. Given that your previous ministerial post
only lasted a weekend, how does it feel to be back in the Cabinet?
Minister McDonald: I’m loving it Darryn. I take
everything in life as an opportunity to learn. Over the last months I’ve learnt
perseverance, determination and how not to invite notorious “community leaders”
to your swearing in ceremony.
Darryn: Minister,
there has been a lot of concern expressed on social media. How do you respond
to that?
Minister McDonald: Darryn, I hear those concerns and
I want to say that I see nothing wrong with Fay-Ann’s foot. I mean, it
looks a little dry but some Jergens could easily fix that.
Darryn: I meant the
concerns people have about the ongoing police investigation regarding funds you
approved to the Calabar Foundation, while your common in law husband was a
director. Also, whether or not you also unfairly assisted your common in law
husband to acquire an HDC house.
Minister McDonald: Darryn, you know it's wrong for a
Government Minister to comment about ongoing police investigations. Unless of
course it involves the Opposition
Darryn: And your
supposed friendship with certain “community leaders” in Sea Lots?
Minister McDonald: As a Member of Parliament for
Port of Spain South it's my job to be friends with all people in my
constituency; whether it's doctors, shopkeepers or CEOs who run multimillion
dollar companies, wearing vests and gold chains, while also playing cards all
day.
Darryn: How do you
respond to some critics who say Dr. Rowley only reinstated you because he
desperately needs your support in the upcoming PNM internal elections?
Minister McDonald: That’s not true at all Darryn. Dr.
Rowley wanted someone with my mix of abilities; experience, political acumen
and strong stomach to tell party members what a great Prime Minister he is
without throwing up.
Darryn: Minister, as
you know they have been some protests outside Parliament about the possible
removal of the Buggery Law. Does the Government have an official position on
this?
Minister McDonald: Darryn, the Government’s
position is we await the courts decision. Personally, I think what two
consenting adults do behind closed doors is their business alone. Whether it's
kissing or one promising the other an HDC house or state funds for his
unregistered charity foundation. It's all love.
Darryn: Minister, why
is Minister Imbert using Twitter to dispense information about the new ferry,
the Galleons Passage, as opposed to leaving that to NIDCO which procured it?
Minister McDonald: Darryn, I don’t know anything
about Twitter but I do know my Parliamentary colleagues are impressed by
Minister Imbert’s tweets; they always go, “What did that twit say now?"
when I mention him.
Darryn: Minister, as
you know Chief Justice Ivor Archie has taken a six-month sabbatical. Do you
think that was appropriate given the firestorm of controversy he’s facing at
home?
Minister McDonald: Darryn, as Dr. Rowley indicated
yesterday he was unware of this until the President wrote to him asking for a
replacement. And when he saw the Chief Justice’s Facebook status that said, “See
yuh see yuh, wouldn’t want to be yuh”. I can’t say if it appropriate or not,
but six months is a long time for a sabbatical. That’s long enough for a court
in T&T to call one, maybe even two cases to trial.
Darryn: Finally,
Minister can you say when Minister Maxie Cuffie will be returning to work?
Minister McDonald: Why don’t you ask him for yourself
Darryn? He’s on the phone now.
(Proceeds to hand me her cell phone)
Darryn: Hello
is this Minister Cuffie ?
Stuart Young: Hi Darryn it's me Maxie
Cuffie. I'll be back at work any day now.
Darryn: Oh that’s
great to hear Minister Cuffie. To be honest I was worried that Stuart Young
would take over as Communications Minister. He’s not as good a speaker as you.
Stuart Young: Why don’t you shut your
stupid face Darryn! I mean, thanks Darryn. See you soon.
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