Jail Massive Gosein

As a longtime aficionado of the majestic art-form that is Chutney music, I am deeply offended by Massive Gosein’s latest release ‘Rowlee Mudda Count’ and call on the police to arrest him. This crass and offensive song contains none of the sophisticated concepts that chutney music is famous for. Such as, drinking rum, getting horn, and making at least one reference about somebody’s nanny. Instead ‘Rowlee Mudda Count’ is a shameless attempt to humiliate Prime Minister Dr. Keith Rowley. A fact which is bizarre, as its perfectly clear Dr. Rowley appears fully capable of doing that all by himself.

The most disgusting aspect of this song though is the music video which displays a woman in black makeup, dressed crudely, counting vegetables. This is not what I want from my chutney music. If I wanted to hear politically partisan songs coupled with crude imagery of racial stereotypes; I would just go to Calypso Monarch every year like everybody else. Or just listen to talk radio. Plus, we all know what the word ‘count’ is really meant to invoke. Massive Gosein is being purposely disrespectful to mathematicians everywhere.

That’s why I applaud the PNM’s women’s league for their strong condemnation of the song. In T&T it takes a lot of courage to stand up and point out the moral failings of your political opponents   People like Massive Gosein need to be taught a lesson. That just because here in Trinidad and Tobago you have a constitutionally guaranteed right to freedom of thought and expression; doesn’t mean you have a right to use it. Trinidad and Tobago is a cosmopolitan society where every creed and race has an equal place. We can’t allow people to freely go around disrespecting and insulting whoever they like. Unless its Cuban refugees, Venezuelans, Jamaicans, Chinese, Homosexuals, vagrants, your political opponents, anybody who doesn’t believe in your imaginary friend, and of course, Syrians.

 I would not blame Dr. Rowley at all, if he used his “s&^T Kickers to violently attack Mr. Gosein. Just as he threatened to do to an opposition MP on television. After all, as intellectuals like Selwyn Cudjoe and Gabriele Hosein reminded us after the attacks on French magazine Charlie Hebdo, if you mock someone, you can’t really blame them for murdering you. I also call on civil rights activist and BBQ seller Inshan Ishmael to protest outside of Mr. Gosein’s workplace and demand he be fired.  Just as he did when columnist Kevin Baldeosingh recklessly wrote down 900 words of his thoughts on paper. Go brave Mr. Ishmael and if the police try to stop your protest, just cite your constitutional right of assembly. Just like you did while protesting Baldeosingh’s right of free expression.

Mr. Gosein’s poor excuse of a song is not the only obscenity that needs to be banned from our airwaves though. This past Christmas season alone I had to suffer through hearing such filth as ‘Neighbor bring out the Ham’. ‘Ham’ obviously being a metaphor for “weed”.  “I want a Spanish woman to marry me”. Which is a blatant call to legalize prostitution. And ‘Alegria, Alegria’. Which is Spanish for “Satan is your master Darryn; he says murder everybody”. Thank god for nice family songs like “I want meh brush neighbor”. It’s a beautiful song which brings back sweet fond memories of asking your neighbor to please return the paint brush you lent them.

I’m pleased to see that some chutney shows have stopped Massive Gosein from taking part. Its good to know that there are still decent people willing to not let principles. get in the way of state sponsorship.  But until we start jailing people like Gosein they will always think they have the freedom to sing whatever they want. This is why I am recommending the Government introduce the ‘Anti-Satire’ Bill. This bill gives the police special powers to arrest scumbags ridiculing public figures by hiding behind sarcasm and creative use of metaphors. Similar laws are already in places like Cuba, Venezuela and North Korea and are really popular. Just ask the “Kim Jung un is our Lord and master” singing band.

The really sad part though is that while we can count on radio stations and fete promoters to do the right thing and blacklist Gosien. He can still use the internet to peddle his views. But he should enjoy that while it lasts. Because as we speak the Attorney General is working to fix that. Until then, to paraphrase the great Sundar Popo “Massive Gosein song offended meh, I think I going and dead. Come Guyl, come Guyl, lie down in me bed.”